What I learned in Pre-Kindergarten

I never went to preschool. My school started with kindergarten, but times have changed and I feel children need a year to prepare and get used to what school is all about. When I filled out my application for Matthew to attend St. Anthony School, I wasn't sure if he would be in the preschool or pre-kindergarten class. I wasn't even sure what I wanted for him. I have a Master's degree in education, but when it comes to my own child making decisions is so incredibly difficult. His birthday lies just after the August 1st cutoff, but being a private school, they can make exceptions based on the individual child. When we received the letter saying he was accepted, it said he would be in preschool. I accepted that because I figured I would let the school decide where he belonged. The day of orientation I met with the preschool teacher. As soon as I got home, the pre-kindergarten teacher called me and said he was on her roster. She asked if I could come back and meet with her. I went and talked to her for more than an hour, and she convinced me he was ready for pre-kindergarten. It was the right decision because he would have been so bored in the preschool class. It wasn't easy at first, though. I failed to teach him how to write at home. It's not that I didn't think it was important, but I just didn't realize he needed to learn so soon. The first month or two we struggled through how to hold the pencil and even if he was right handed or left handed. I am right handed, but Mark is left handed. He settled on the right and now he can write Matthew Carpenter, as well as, every letter of the alphabet and his numbers 1 through 20. Granted, his handwriting is not perfect, but he can do it. He doesn't always want to, but he has the ability. This is where our struggles come in. I was always the student who had no problem doing my work, studying and I still enjoy learning. I am hoping as he grows he will develop some of these habits, but this year he showed me how strong his will is on many occassions. It's not that he didn't want to go to school because he can't wait to go each day. He loves it, but he doesn't love work. He loves the social aspect, especially being with other kids. He also likes the structure. He thrives on routine. There were many afternoons where we sat down to do his homework, and I am not sure who cried more, him or me. I beat myself up wondering why is it that some women can handle 3,4,5 6 or 7 kids,and even homeschool them, but at the time I only had 1 and I couldn't handle it. I felt so many days like a failure as a mother. Mark didn't understand because my identity now is nothing more than being a mom, so when you don't do a good job at the only thing that defines you, and you try so hard and care so much, then you can't help but be upset and beat yourself up. The first three months of pre-kindergarten tested every fiber of my being. Matthew would not listen in the morning. He woke up in plenty of time to get dress and eat breakfast, but we still left the house frantic and at the last minute. It is so hard to realize as an adult that children really don't understand time. I dreaded mornings and afternoons. I felt horrible and guilty for feeling this way. Why did I dread the only time now I spent with him? I called myself a horrible mother so many times and really believed I needed to go back to work. Then, Evan was born. This presented a whole new set of challenges. Matthew felt replaced. He was no longer the center of the universe. Someone else was stealing his attention. The next three months I worked so hard to show him that he was still loved just as much, but there were many tears and tantrums along the way. Somehow, things got better. He started doing his work without fights, he got ready in the morning without meltdowns, and he accepted and even loves Evan. I learned some valuable lessons along the way. Here's my list of what I am taking away from pre-kindergarten: 1. As soon as he comes home, give him a snack. He doesn't always eat his lunch, so with a full stomach he is so much more cooperative. 2. Don't give him any foods with red, blue or yellow dyes. He bounces off the wall and turns into a lunatic. I had bought go gurts for snacks and then realized they had the dye and it was affecting his behavior. Now, I only give him organic yogurt. The commissary doesn't sell it, so I make a special trip to Safeway every week to get this one item. It is worth it. 3. I also learned that I need to accept that he is not me nor will he ever be me. I loved learning because it was my ticket to a better life. I wanted more than I had and the only way to get it was through an education. He loves the social aspect of school and the structure. 4. Let him play and run and get out the energy. Kids need it, especially boys. 5. If the teacher tells you he didn't behave so well at school, talk about it. His teacher told me one day that he couldn't keep his hands to himself, so she had to put him in the time out chair. He didn't want to talk about it, but I discussed it with him calmly and the next day I walked him in and made him apologize to her for not listening. It's never too early to learn respect. 6. Talking works so much better than yelling or crying that goes for both of us. I tell him over and over use a calm voice and tell me what is wrong. Don't whine about something you don't like. Problems are easily solved in a calm manner but become bigger challenges when you are worked up. 7. I learn that Mark is better at parenting than me. He has far more patience. This is a hard one to admit, but he also had great examples. His father once told me you can't have discipline without love or love without discipline. Mark really follows that advice. I sometimes give too much love and am lacking in the discipline. 8. Explore extra-curricular activities, but don't force them to do anything they don't want or that causes them to cry. Matthew did a primetime class after school that he loved. It was only 1 day a week for a half hour, but it was the highlight of his week. I signed him up for a 5 week soccer session, and it didn't go well. He likes kicking the ball, but playing the game was too much for him. The kids were bigger and more aggressive, so we won't try that again until he's older and if he wants to. He loves music, so I signed him up for a half hour a week piano class. He loves it and has even asked for a keyboard. Music and books are his passion. He can't read yet, but he loves books, so I do everything to make sure we have plenty of books around. 9. I learned how important teachers really are. Matthew had the best teacher and assistant teacher. He loves them. Teachers play as big a role in their lives as their parents, so develop a good relationship with the teacher. It takes an amazing person to teach young minds and do it with patience and love. 10. The most important lesson I learned is to show him and tell him over and over again how much he is loved. How proud I am of him. You can never give too many hugs and kisses. I am not a person who pretends to be something I am not or that life is perfect for me, so it was a hard year. It came with a lot of change and a lot of tears, but we got through it. I also spent a lot of time praying that God would help me be a better mother and give me the patience I needed. Those prayers were answered because I don't hide in the closet now and cry about how horrible of a mother I am. I know I will still fail at things and make mistakes, but I feel like next year will be better and this was the hardest. I also feel that I will be better prepared for what's to come with both boys. I guess I learned as much as Matthew did in pre-kindergarten and what we both learned will serve us well the rest of our lives.

Sometimes You have to "Tri" Harder!

What makes the difference between wishing and realizing our wishes? Lots of things, and it may take months or years for a wish to come true, but it's far more likely to happen when you care so much about a wish that you'll do all you can to make it happen.” Fred Rogers. I said I would do it, and I did. I completed my first triathlon. It became my goal after I gave up my desire to do the Disney Princess half marathon because the thought of travelling to Florida with a 2 month old baby and 4 1/2 half year old from Hawaii seemed way too overwhelming. I learned so much in the 1:42 minutes it took me to complete the event. First and foremost, anyone who ever wants to do a triathlon should do the Boca Lanikai triathlon. It was so professionally done, and I can't even begin to describe just how beautiful of a place serves as the backdrop. The sun rose out of the ocean just as we were preparing to jump in the water. The ocean was amazingly flat and Kona winds rule!!! This is the only time in my almost 8 years in Hawaii I have been grateful for Kona winds. It means it's hot and because of it the ocean is flat. I prayed for a flat ocean. I know that sounds superficial, but I am not a swimmer, so the few times I got in with currents and waves I felt like I would never make it out. I stressed a lot about this swim. I have never swam in my life. When I was in second grade, my mother took me one summer to swim lessons at someone's house. The next time I had a swim lesson I was 39 years old and 7 months pregnant. Is anyone besides me crazy enough to take a swim lesson at 7 months pregnant? It was my only opportunity. It was on Tuesday and Thursday mornings while Matthew was in school and before Evan was born, so I had to do it. I never finished because Evan was born the day of the last class, but I got a good 6 to 7 weeks of classes in before I just couldn't go anymore. I trained by swimming with the ladies after Stroller Strides. We'd take turns wathcing each other's kids. Somedays I would get in my car and cry because I felt like I could not do it, but I couldn't back out either. Quitting is really not in my blood. Today, I hardly put my face in the water, but I swam 500 meters in 17 and something minutes. That may sound like a horrible time for some, but for me, it was great, considering I really have never swam in my life. Luckily, my friend Brittney let me borrow her road bike. It is a celebrity bike. She bought it from someone who was on the Biggest Loser. It is a great bike. The bike was the easiest for me and the most enjoyable. The happiest time on the bike was when I made the turn atop the hill on Marine Corp Base Hawaii. As I came flying down, I saw a scenery I had never noticed before. It was amazing. I could see from the North Shore to Waimanalo. The ocean waves crashing with the Koolau mountains in the background. This scene is forever etched in my mind. At that moment, I took a breath, sort of a sigh of relief, as I realized how much I truly love Hawaii and how it really is home to me. That view was worth every second of misery I felt training and during the race. I also realized a lot about myself. I have no talent. Do you know any athlete, other than gymnasts, who are just over 5 feet tall? Probably not. I am not an athlete and never have been one, yet, I have run 8 half marathons, 1 full marathon, dozens of smaller races and now completed a triathlon. How do I do it? Pure determination, not skill or talent. I wanted to give up so many times today, but my determination would not let me. Then, I realized how my determination is what made me accomplish everything I have in my life, it's not smarts or talents, it's all the will to achieve. This is the same determination I see in Matthew, yet, I spend so much time frustrated with him because of it. I blame Mark and the Carpenter males for it, but today I realized, he is me. The times I have failed or made mistakes are because I channeled that determination in the wrong way. He channels it quite often in the wrong way, but he's 4 and maybe what he is determined to do is truly important to him, even if it seems ridiculous and frustrating to me. I came to realize that it is my job, as his mother, to do what no one has ever done for me, and that is to teach him early on how to channel his determination in a positive way. He told me he can't wait to get big and run with me because he will beat me. I told him I have no doubt he will beat me, and I just hope he waits for me at the finish line. All of this came to me as I pedaled those 12 miles and because I saw the Windward coastline from a whole other view. Then, there was the run. I thought this would be the easiest for me because of all the running I do, but it wasn't. My body sent me a mean message. I had a horrible side cramp. Before I gave birth to Evan, I had never gotten side cramps while running. That has all changed. Since I gave birth to him, I have horrible side cramps and am dehydrated so often. I think the cramp was related to dehydration because after I chugged water at the water station I could enjoy my run. I ran as fast as I could, but it was still one of my slowest 5k times ever. In the end, though, none of the times matter. What matters is that I finished something I thought was impossible for me. At the finish line stood 3 guys I love more than anything in the world. Also, I had some great friends there cheering me on. My friends I trained with are wonderful ladies, and I am thankful for them. Some of my other friends came out and that really meant a lot. Seeing friendly faces along the way is so motivating. There was an elderly lady sitting in her driveway where we ran holding a sign that said, Imua, the Hawaiian translation is "Go Forward Warriors." How sweet and thoughtful of her. I wondered if she once ran races or did triathlons, or did she just feel inspired to see so many people set a goal and work to achieve it. That is what this triathlon was about for me, setting a goal and achieving it. Twenty years ago, I would have never dreamed of doing something like this, but at 40, my life is about setting good examples for my boys and achieving positive results from my goals. Today, I feel accomplished. My time may not be great, but I feel great knowing my determination once again helped me do something I thought impossible. I made great friends along the way. “ I did all I could to make a wish come true, and it did, but I had to "tri" a lot harder!!!

Hawaii's Best Kept Secret

I know it has been such a long time since I have written a blog, and I do feel bad about not keeping up with it. I don't have an excuse other than life has been busy. Now that I have 2 children, I don't have quite as much free time. I have also been helping with St. Anthony School's 60th anniversary Gala and auction coming up on April 13th, and it is time consuming work. I love doing it, though. I am able to use my writing talents and soon my video producing talents, and the best part, they are very much appreciated. I wrote an article that was published in last week's Hawaii Catholic Herald. It has been so long since I have published an article, so it was nice to see my name in print. I have also received a lot of positive feedback, including the Vicar General (the second in charge to the Bishop)of the Archdiocese of Honolulu saying that it was a great article. The video production will begin on April 3rd, so the 10 days leading up to the gala will be quite busy. But, in the midst of it all, I planned a short family getaway. Mark and I have vacationed on the three other main islands besides O'ahu, the Big Island, Maui, and Kauai. We decided to try something new and travelled to Lanai. I have always wanted to visit Lanai, but recent visits by some friends who gave it rave reviews convinced me it was time to make it happen. There are really only 3 places to stay on the island, the Four Seasons Koele, the Four Seasons Manele Bay, and Hotel Lanai. We stayed at the Koele. It was so incredibly beautiful. It reminded me of a plantation home. Being from Louisiana, I have seen lots of plantations, but I have never stayed in one. I have always wanted to, so who knew it would be Hawaii where that would happen. Lanai was an island of plantations because that's where most of the pineapple was grown. That is no longer the case, but the Four Seasons has done a fabuluous job of capturing that era and charm at the Koele. When we arrived, we were greeted with lei, cold towel and pineapple juice. We were told to sit by the fireplace while an agent came to us to give us our room information. The room was wonderful. A crib was set up for Evan, bathrobes hung in the closet for Mark, Matthew and me, sponges were cut out to spell Matthew and Evan, baby products and shamppoo, conditioner and bath wash were left for the boys, cookies and box milk were on a plate with a note for "Master Matthew and Master Evan," two stuffed ponies were on a bed, and the refrigerator was stocked with water. They made such an effort to make children feel welcome and special. Matthew was so excited about his sponges, stuffed pony and cookies. The lodge has many activities including, croquest, putt putt golf, full golf course, clay shooting, archery, horseback riding, ATV riding, lawn bowling and a heated pool. Matthew was too young for horseback riding, so we let him ride a pony instead. He loved it, but his favorite place to be was the pool. I was happy it was heated because it does get a bit chilly there. Even Evan enjoyed hanging by the pool. It doesn't matter what Four Seasons Resort you stay at, you can still visit the other by taking a shuttle that runs every half hour. The Four Seasons Manele Bay is on the ocean. It is a beach getaway. The beach is remote and beautiful. The waves are gentle enough for children to play in it. The resort workers were so kind to set us up with chairs, umbrellas and even a pack n play. Every half hour or so, they bring cold water around. They also come by with towels, spritz, and other treats. I got a crab wonton and pineapple and Matthew and Mark a smoothie. They just hand these out to everyone sitting on the beach. We spent most of one day at that beach and it was so relaxing. If this wasn't a family vacation, we would have rented a jeep and drove around because most of the roads on the island are dirt roads. I would have also liked to hike more. I did get to do one hike, but I can't say it was a lot of fun because I carried a 36 pound, stubborn 4 year old on my back. The Koloiki Hike starts at the Koele Lodge. It is 5 miles roundtrip. When you reach the peak, you get a beautiful view of both Molokai and Maui. It is an easy hike. Matthew could have done it, but he was being Matthew this day and not cooperating. We started out with Evan in the ergo, until we couldn't take anymore of Matthew's whining. Mark was going to carry Evan, and Matthew would be in the ergo, but we decided it was too much for Evan because he started to cry as soon as we took him out of the ergo. Mark went back with him and Matthew, and I continued on. I felt bad that Mark missed it, but in all fairness, he travels the world and flies over the islands all the time, so I deserved this one hike to get an incredible view. Lanai city looks like nothing more than a 4 block square. I am sure it is a little bigger, but we decided one night to go there for dinner because it is costly to eat at the Four Seasons and the menu doesn't change. We opted for a place called Blue Ginger. I wasn't impressed because it was order at the counter, and the menu was written on white boards. It was basically a plate lunch style place, which is NOT part of my lifestyle. I ordered off the healthy options white board. I had ono with salad and rice. I gave Matthew most of the rice, and the ono was overcooked. I didn't feel like it was healthy, but Mark seemed to like his mixed plate. There are two little markets in town, so you could always pick up food, or in our case a bottle of wine. The trip did get off to a rough start, but we didn't let it get us down. We flew Mokulele Express. This is a 9 passenger plane. When we got off the plane at the Lanai airport our checked luggage was not there. Of course, I had diapers and formula in a bag with me on the plane, but I only had enough for the day. I didn't put enough for the night. They told us the luggage would be sent on a later flight, and it did eventually get there, but we had to call at least 3 times to make sure. Then, on our return, we didn't even have to go through security. I am certain this has to violate some FAA rule. I don't think I would fly Mokulele again, but I would stay at a Four Seasons Resort anywhere in the world. Their customer service is top notch. The reason we stayed at the Koele was because they offer great Kamaaina rates. If you stay Monday through Thursday, the rate is only $249 a night. It is worth every penny of that. I am not sure if the Manele has Kamaaina rates, but I plan to find out because I definitely want to go back to Lanai. Mark calls it Hawaii's Best Kept Secret. It truly is an amazing place, especially when you come from O'ahu which is busy and crowded. It is the place to escape it all. I have one more island to visit and that is Molokai. I've always dreamed of going to the Vatican, but I know that won't happen for at least another 10 to 20 years. But, I can capture some Catholic history by visiting Molokai. Recently Father Damien and Sister Marianne Cope were canonized and became Saint Damien and Saint Marianne. Both are from Hawaii and became Saints because of their work at Kalaupapa, the leper colony, on Molokai. I really want to visit this place before the day comes when I have to bid Aloha to Hawaii. Last summer, I was planning a trip there, despite being pregnant. As I researched, I found out that children under 16 are not allowed to visit the colony, which meant we couldn't go. I found another option, but I am waiting for Evan to be a little older before I leave him all day. There are day trips that fly into the colony and give you a tour and then fly back. You spend the day there and come straight home. Once I feel comfortable leaving them for a full day, Mark and I will take that trip. It is the last thing on my Hawaii to do list. Once I leave Hawaii, I think any trips back will include a stay on Lanai because it really is Hawaii's Best Kept Secret.

Hawaii's cultural scene

Since I was a little girl and saw Sandy Duncan fly through the Saenger Theater in New Orleans in a Broadway production of Peter Pan, I have always been a fan of live theater. Maybe it’s because of my 30 plus years of dance classes or my dream of being a Rockette, of course my vertical challenges prevented me from ever pursuing this dream, but I have always loved watching a live stage show far more than a movie on the big screen. Last year when Hawaiian Airlines started offering direct, affordable flights to New York City from Honolulu, I thought about going to the Big Apple by myself just to see Broadway shows. Mommy guilt kicked in and I realized how selfish of me to spend money so frivolously on myself, so I didn’t do it. Around September I saw that Wicked was coming to Hawaii, but the dates of November through January didn’t seem like a good time, considering Evan was born in early November. Once Mark found out his parents were coming for a visit and would be thrilled to babysit, he bought tickets for us as my Christmas present. We went to a Thursday matinee because we just are too tired to do anything at night. It was such a wonderful, thoughtful present. We had third row seats and the show was fabulous. It was better than I even imagined. I was excited that Kim Zimmer, who I watched for years on the Guiding Light as Reva Shane, was in the show. My friend even told me I reminded her of the good witch, which was a big compliment because she was cute, funny and put on a great performance. I am writing about this experience because most people think of beaches when they think of Hawaii, but it is also a place full of cultural venues. Working in the television news industry, I met several people who also performed in live, local theater shows. The island of O’ahu has some beautiful old theaters. Amongst those are Diamond Head Theater, the Hawaii Theater, Manoa Theater, the Blaisdell performance Hall, Castle High School’s theater and the Paliku Theater at Windward Community College, to name a few. I don’t know all of the theaters here, but these are the ones where I have either seen shows or know someone who performed in a show there. Most of the shows I’ve seen were at Diamond Head Theater, including Chicago and South Pacific. I saw Jesus Christ Superstar at Castle High School’s theater, and I saw Riverdance and Wicked at the Blaisdell Performance Hall. I know I’ve seen more shows, but I am still sleep deprived, so I can’t remember and just want to share info on how great Hawaii’s theater scene can be. I actually had the opportunity to perform on Diamond Head Theater’s stage. In 2003 and 2005, I was part of the Society of Professional Journalism’s Gridiron show.

It is a variety show in which news reporters, producers, technicians, etc. make fun of newsmakers. It was by far one of my funnest experiences and my dream came true because I got to perform on stage. Luckily, they were forgiven of my horrible singing voice and appreciated my dance talents. They also gave me an acting role in 2003. I was the angry haole who tried to get a flight on Hawaiian airlines but got rerouted through American Samoa, Pago Pago and all those places in the Pacific Ocean. It was meant to poke fun at the airline. At the time, I needed this. I needed to meet new people with similar interests, and I needed to feel like I had some worthy talent. I wish I stayed in better contact with those I met through this, but my life is so different now. It is about diapers, mom groups and volunteering at school. I would love to perform again, but raising my children is my priority, and I just don’t have the time to commit. I also took tap class lessons at Diamond Head theater and sadly I don’t have time for that either. If anyone is looking for lessons in dance or acting, Diamond Head Theater has a great program for all ages. It is affordable and the teachers are top-notch, some even have Broadway experience. Besides live theater, Hawaii is full of art galleries. I am not knowledgeable about art, but I know you can find galleries in Chinatown, on the North Shore, Kailua and even in Waikiki. Every first Friday of the month, Chinatown celebrates by opening the galleries during pau hana (after work) and offering pupus (appetizers) and drinks. It is a fun experience to walk around and look at the local art. I am only familiar with the artists Wyland and Christian Lassen. We have two paintings from Lassen that are quite beautiful. There are many more and you can find some beautiful pieces that highlight the beach or mountains of Hawaii. For those who like to attend events, Hawaii is plentiful in charity galas. I am actually working on one right now. Most of the schools will have silent auctions to raise money. This year, Matthew’s school, St. Anthony’s, is celebrating its 60th anniversary. It is the oldest private school in Kailua and has educated some 13,000 over the years. I can’t say enough about how much I love this school, so volunteering to help is fun to me. The event is scheduled for April 13th at the Officer’s Club at Kaneohe Marine Corp Base. We are currently collecting donations, selling banners and ads for the program. Tickets will be on sale for the event very soon … here’s my selfish plug … anyone reading this who might want to donate or attend, please let me know. It really is for a good cause. I tell you about it because I want to spread the word, but also to point out how many of the private schools and even some of the public schools have events like this if you like getting dressed up, bidding on great items and having good food and drinks... all for a great cause. For those visiting or who live here, there’s no shortage of art, culture and social scene in Hawaii. Just because it might seem your closet or suitcase is full of bathing suits, board shorts and slippahs, you can always make room for a pretty dress, a pair of heels and a nice aloha shirt, and I promise they’ll be an occasion to wear it. Whether it’s a theater show, visiting an art gallery, or attending a special event, you can always find a bit of big city culture in our magnificent islands.

Mele Kalikimaka

It’s been a while since I could sit down and write because I am happy to announce that my sweet baby boy, Evan Jacob, blessed us with his presence on November 8 at 6:11 a.m. He is such a joy. I never thought I could love anyone as much as Matthew, but I have found that my heart overflows with love for both Evan and Matthew. I feel like my life and my family are now complete. I waited almost 40 years to have a real family, so I have been trying to enjoy every moment, even the sleep deprived ones.

The reason I am writing, though, is to give you some ideas about celebrating Christmas Hawaiian style. Don’t let the warm temperatures make you think for a moment that Hawaii doesn’t know how to celebrate the best holiday of the year. It is definitely different, but there are so many fun and unique things to do here. The biggest light display is found in downtown Honolulu.

The tree lighting ceremony is on December 1st and begins at 4 p.m. at Honolulu Hale. There will be food booths, keiki rides, music and an electric parade begins at 6p.m. at Aala Park and proceeds down King Street. Mayor Peter Carlisle will light the 50 feet tree at 6:30 p.m. The light display is from the Civic Center to Chinatown, and it really is something you don’t want to miss. Santa sports his board shorts and Mrs. Claus a mumu … they truly bring the Aloha spirit into Christmas. If walking around the exhibit is a bit much, there are options to ride around. Fire truck Hawaii offers a tour on an old fashion fire truck, but it is difficult to get reservations. Check out their website at www.firetruckhawaii.com. You can also ride a trolley from Hickam Air Force Base. Tickets are available at the ITT office. Some of the tour companies also offer trolley rides. I recently saw a Groupon for a tour with the Aloha Bus Company. The display is kept up until New Year’s, so even if you don’t make it before Christmas, you still have an opportunity to see it. In Kailua, you can attend the Castle Medical Center tree lighting on December 5th. This is the 28th year the medical center hosts the event, and it is always a big deal. Things will kickoff with a Christmas concert by the Marine Forces Pacific Band at 6:15 p.m. which will be followed by the formal ceremony that includes the lighting of the 60-foot Christmas trees thousands of lights, performances by Hoku Award winners Barrett and Tara Awai, and the arrival of Santa at 7:00 p.m. Parking is difficult, so trolley rides are offered from the Kailua town center, in front of Macy’s. Currently, I am a bit disappointed with Castle’s birth center because my experience there was not what I expected. That is a long story that would take too long to tell, but let’s just say they really failed to deliver all that they promise when you take their tour of the birth center. With having a less than month old baby and Mark being gone this week, we will most likely skip this event. But, I do know it is worth attending for those who want to soak up the Windward holiday cheer. An only in Hawaii event worth attending is Santa’s arrival in an outrigger canoe. This happens on December 8th at the Outrigger Hotel Waikiki, where Duke’s restaurant is located. Santa paddles in at 9 a.m., and then is available for free photos.

Hula dancers welcome him as he makes his way on shore. This is such a great way to get a taste of a real Hawaii Christmas, but the line is very long to visit Santa. Last year, we opted to just take part in his arrival and skip the photo. I am looking forward to an event the PTSG at St. Anthony School is hosting. We will have a spaghetti dinner followed by a trolley ride to Kaneohe to see a little street that lights up the Windward side. It is Namoku Street, which is close to the shopping center with Ross, Foodland and 24 Hour Fitness. All of the homeowners show their Christmas spirit by lighting up their homes and yards. We will get to drive down the street on the trolley, but you can park your car and get out and walk around. If you’re lucky, Santa might be there passing out candy. I think the easiest way to get there is to turn off of Kaneohe Bay Drive onto Aumoku Street and go by McDonalds. Continue past 24 Hour Fitness and the back of Longs and then take a left on Namoku Street. There are also several parades scheduled all around the island of O’ahu. Kaneohe will host their parade on December 1at 9 a.m. It starts at Windward Mall and travels down Kamehameha Hwy. and Kaneohe Bay Drive to end at Castle High School.

Mililani’s parade is also this day. The parade will start at 9 a.m. at the Mililani High School Stadium at Kipapa Drive, past Mililani Shopping Center, onto Moenamanu Street, onto Kuahelani Avenue, onto Meheula Parkway, onto Lanikuhana Avenue, to finish at the Town Center of Mililani between Ruby Tuesday and Assagios. Kaimuki’s parade is Dec. 6th from 6:00-8:00 p.m. The event is expected to have 1,500 marchers and 40 vehicles. It starts at St. Louis High School/Chaminade University grounds, to Waialae Ave., to Koko Head Ave., to end at Municipal Parking Lot. Wahiawa town’s parade is December 7th. It will start at Kaala Elementary School, to California Avenue, to North Cane Street, where it will end at Center Street around 8:30 p.m. Also on December 7th, the Pearl Harbor Memorial Anniversary Parade begins at 6:00 p.m. It will start at Ft. DeRussy Park then onto Kalakaua Ave. where it will end at Kapiolani Park at around 8:30 p.m. The parade will honor the 50th anniversary of the USS Arizona Memorial. Waipahu, Manoa, Aiea and Waimanalo all hosts parades on December 8th. Haleiwa has a parade scheduled on December 9th, Kapahulu/Moillili on December 13th, and the Waianae Coast and Ewa Beach both on December 15th. For some it’s not Christmas without a performance of the Nutcracker. You’re in luck because the Hawaii State Ballet will be performing the show on December 15, 16, 21, 22, and 23 at Mamiya Theater at St. Louis School. For tickets, visit www.hawaiistateballet.com. There’s so much to do here in Hawaii during the holidays, but most of all take time to remember the real reason for the season. I am so excited that Matthew will have his first Christmas program at St. Anthony’s this year. He is already starting to sing songs like Hark the Herald Angels Sing and asking me questions about Jesus’ birthday. Despite his long list for Santa, it makes me happy when he tries to understand why this is such an important day and what it truly means. I truly have so much to be thankful for this Christmas, so I plan to do my best to spread cheer and love and savor every moment of the season. Merry Christmas, or as we say in Hawaii, Mele Kalikimaka!

Halloween Hawaiian Style

Just because the sun is blazing hot and a shave ice tastes a whole lot better than a warm apple cider, does not mean that Hawaii isn’t celebrating Halloween right. The spooktacular holiday sweeps in with big celebrations for ghosts and goblins of all ages. At this stage in my life, it is all about pumpkin patches and trick or treating. Speaking of pumpkin patches, there are actually two on O’ahu. One is located on the Windward side in Waimanalo. It is smaller in size, but still offers lots of fun. This is the third year Waimanalo Farms has hosted the event. We were fortunate enough to get our own tour their first year. I arranged for our Stroller Strides group to go on a weekday morning. The children wore their costumes, had a hayride, found their way through a corn maze and just enjoyed being with each other. It was a great time!

Last year, we went as a family on a Saturday because the patch is open to the public every weekend in October.

During the week, they give private tours to groups. The people running it are so welcoming and kind. You can tell this is a labor of love for them. But this year, we decided to try the other pumpkin patch. This one is located in Kapolei at Aloun Farms.

It is a lot bigger than the Waimanalo Pumpkin Patch. It too has a hayride, but no corn maze. There’s also a fair like setting with bouncy houses and a few rides, a petting zoo and pony rides.

Both places offer food to purchase and beautiful views. We went to Aloun Farms at 9 a.m. because this is the hottest October in all the years I have lived in Hawaii, and it just happens to be my last month of pregnancy. At 38 weeks pregnant, our 45 minute walk through the pumpkin fields to find just the right size pumpkin, pretty much wiped me out.

Matthew was even complaining of being tired. He did muster up the energy to visit the bounce houses, and because of the incredibly long line, he rode the pony, instead of taking the hay ride.

He really enjoyed it, and I am glad we went, but I think next year we will stick to the one in Waimanalo. For the older kids, who appreciate the scary part of Halloween, there are lots of fun events around O’ahu. The Polynesian Cultural Center offers a haunted canoe ride where you can experience the tragic story of “The La’ie Lady” in search of her lost son. It is not for the faint of heart. It starts at 6:30 p.m. now through Halloween, except on Sunday. There is a family friendly canoe ride from 6:30 – 7:30 where a lost warrior protects passengers with a mystical light staff. In Honolulu, you can find the Hollywood House of Horror and the Twisted Fun House at 805 Ala Moana Blvd starting at 7 p.m. Dole Cannery has Nightmares Live from 7 p.m. until midnight. The Haunted Stadium at Aloha Stadium kicks off at 6 p.m. until 11 p.m. The Hallowbaloo Music and Arts Festival kicks off at 5:30 p.m. tonight, Oct. 27th. It is a free street festival that includes four stages featuring 40 plus bands and 15,000 costumed friends. These are just a few of the more popular events, but there are a lot more haunted events around the island, including schools hosting festivals. In Kailua tonight, Lanikai Elementary is hosting its Harvest moon festival and Kalaheo High school’s Project Grad is hosting a haunted house and fun fair for children of all ages. The last three Halloweens in Hawaii have been by far the best in my life. It is definitely because Matthew gets so excited about his costume and trick or treating. I can’t wait until Wednesday morning because he will be part of a Halloween parade at school, but the real fun comes Wednesday night when some of his closest friends will join him to trick or treat. All of the events around the island sound like so much fun, and Hawaii really knows how to celebrate Halloween, but for me, nothing beats trick or treating on Kaimake Loop!

The Kahala Experience

The town of Kahala is located a few miles east of Waikiki. It has a reputation for being home to some of the wealthier people of Hawaii. It is quite evident, too, by the beautiful houses that line the streets. There are some beach parks there, but I have never visited any of them because Kailua beach is my backyard. For those who live in Hawaii Kai, Aina Haina, Niu Valley, and Kaimuki, those parks are the most convenient for beach days. There's also a mall in Kahala which isn't quite as big as Ala Moana Shopping Center, but it is home to many great stores, even local owned boutique style. Whole Foods and Macy's are the big name stores you'll find there. If you want to escape the tourists, it is a great place to shop. You will also find the Waialae Country Club in Kahala. It is famous for hosting the Sony Open every January. My Kahala Experience has been spent mainly at the Kahala Hotel and Resort, formerly named the Kahala Mandarin. I had heard how beautiful this resort is but did not visit it until December of 2005 when my husband's (then boyfriend's) Christmas Party was held there. I was very impressed with the old Hawaii charm the resort captured, but in a modern way. The party was a lot of fun. The food was served buffet style and quite delicious.

My next visit to the Kahala Resort changed my life and brought me to where I am today. It was May 2006, and Mark had already had orders to be in Altus, OK, by August 31st. He even had a house being built there. I was left hanging because I couldn't bear the thought of staying in Hawaii without him, but he refused to even discuss marriage with me. It was all or nothing for me, though. I was not moving to the middle of nowhere, giving up my career, basically my life, for someone not willing to commit to me. I was 33 years old, and I was not going to be a live in girlfriend. He told me he had a surprise for me. I have to know everything, so I got him to tell me that we were spending the weekend at the resort. I used the excuse that I needed to know what to pack. When we got there, we swam with the dolphins. Dolphin Quest, which is the same company that has dolphin swims at the Hilton Waikaloa, does the dolphin swims at the Kahala Resort, too. It was so fun. At the end as I started getting out the water, the trainer said she needed my help for a commercial they were shooting. She was going to have the dolphin bring me items. The dolphin brought me a styrofoam, cube shaped box, and I looked at Mark and said here you take it. He said, "No, you need to open it." Inside was a diamond engagement ring. Right there in the middle of the dolphin lagoon, he proposed. I was so happy and so surprised.

That night we had dinner at a restaurant facing the ocean. I don't remember the name or what I ate because I was so excited. I wish I could recommend or comment on it, but the entire day seemed like a dream. I do remember not being able to eat dessert there, but later ordering chocolate cake off the room service menu. It was the best chocolate cake I had ever eaten. I don't have a sweet tooth, but there were many times, especially those lonely days in Altus, when I longed for that cake. The next morning we had breakfast at the Plumeria House and spent the day lounging at the pool. We revisited the Kahala Resort New Year's Day 2011 for brunch. This time, we had another guest with us, Matthew. The brunch was incredibly delicious. There is everything you can imagine served, sushi, sashimi, clams, mussels, oysters, several types of salad, eggs, sausage, waffles, prime rib, fish, and several types of dessert. On this day, they didn't have that chocolate cake I couldn't forget. Yesterday, we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. We went back and forth about where to go and what to do. I wanted to keep it really casual and go to a place called Kickin Kajun which is the only place in Hawaii that serves boiled crawfish. After reading the yelp reviews, it seemed like we have to get there when they open at 3 p.m. to get a seat and be certain we get crawfish. We thought about staying close to home and just going to Buzz's, but at dinner Saturday night I told Mark this is the last time in my life I won't be on a diet. With this pregnancy, I have maintained my healthy eating, but I don't diet because I want a healthy baby. I don't go crazy eating whatever I want, but I do splurge if the occassion presents itself. I won't be doing that as much post-partum because I have a goal weight I want to maintain, and it gets harder as I get older. I have to stay healthy because I'll be in my 50s when my children finish high school, and I want to be around to see that, as well as, see them go to college, get married, and have children of their own. Mark decided I deserved the chocolate cake. He saw it on the menu at Hoku's inside the Kahala Resort and made the reservation. I was so impressed by the service and quality of the food. We opted for their signature dish. It is a whole fish, flash fried, that serves 2. It was a red snapper and quite tasty. When it arrived, it appeared different than I expected. I was thinking seared, but it was actually breaded and fried. It was served with stir fried vegetables and shrimp fried rice. I am so glad we tried it because I always say when I go to a restaurant I want to order something I can't and don't cook at home. I probably would try the fresh catch of the day on my next visit, though. I normally don't eat breaded and fried food, so while I thought the taste was great, I felt it was a one time experience. My favorite part of the meal was the hot molten chocolate cake. It was as delicious as I remembered. I enjoyed every bite of it. It was worth the more than 6 year wait. It also made this anniversary special by revisiting the place where it all started for us.

Whether it's a special occassion or not, dinner or a weekend stay, the Kahala Resort is worth experiencing.

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